Experiencing the Miraculous . . . two

This morning I accidentally erased the post where I shared about the 2015 RTF International Advance Conference. I want to re-state the miraculous healing that began there. 

I shattered my left arm, at the wrist in 2011. After 2 hours of intensive surgery it took another 2 years to return to good function. I re-injured it in the spring of 2015 and spent some months attemping to get a reasonable evaluation, and treatment, of the injury - to no avail in our local HMO. By the time we flew to North Carolina to attend the 2015 Conference I had lost a percent of useful function of my left wrist, much to my sadness and frustration. 

When this humble healer shared his testimony of how the Lord has been using him for healing in dangerous places, I was encouraged and poured out my heart for longing to have His healing touch. 

When he offered to pray for people the conference came to a halt. For the next two hours this lovely, gentle, faithful man of God prayed for all who wanted it, which was most everyone in the room including me. After he prayed for me I decided to trust God and stand on what His Word that says He is a healer, my healer. 

After the conference Noel and I went right into training at the RTF Internation Training Center. After a few busy days I suddenly noticed I was using my left hand like I did before my original injury in 2011. Over the next few days with joyful wonder I experienced more: movement, dexterity, and range of motion that I remembered. Freedom! 

As weeks pass I continue to heal, using my left hand and arm even more effectively than I did before my initial injuries! Think of that, I am sewing again, using my left hand in fine work, also catching the ping pong balls with my left hand! 

In rejoicing of God's kindness and love I know today that God's healing is moving throughout my entire body, restoring many parts of me to a youthful healthiness. That process is being charted by a wonderful doctor who has been working with me to regain my bone density.

Another chapter in my Great Adventure with Abba, my perfect Father, who loves to heal and gave His only Son, Jesus, to die so that I can live in His fullness in my original design. 

How loved we are!



New Normal

Though I've been steadily more active in the last two years, it is only recently that I feel more connected to the the big picture

I have experienced a new 'normal' over time in my recovery from my injuries in 2011. Such books as: Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, & Eager to Love: The Alternative Way of Francis of Assis, both by Richard Rohr, have given me inspiriation & encouragement to speak about it. As well as a few remarkable close friends who have prayed with me & for me, visited me, shared wisdom, & occasionally gave me a kick in the rear to move on when I got stuck on something-an old habit when thinking too much. 

Pain has been a constant companion, overwhelming and broad, like giant brushstrokes of gray that mask portions of my landscapes both externally & internally. I was bereft of the emotional capacity to speak well of the processes of change. Rather than be confusing I remained in solitude, focusing my energies in partnering with my best friend & husband in doing two stages of a major remodel to our home. My work as Project Manager was fueled by what often felt like gremlins of frustration. With a new level of disability (in the use of my left hand & arm) I needed to find ways to accomplish something, anything! That, right there, tells you of the deconstruction of my life that Abba allowed. My injuries wrecked my sarc sense of knowing what I could do/accomplish in a day of hard work. I am a farm girl after all, with satisfaction for a day's work as part of my identity.

Personal inventory taking is also part of my identity, an important skill gained in my recovery since 1986 from my addictions to alcohol & pot. Through learning how to take my inventory I discovered that I was not, after all, constitutionally incapable of honesty, a huge relief! Yet, I realized that seeing clearly how I behaved, thought, felt, & lived, then what I did with all that, would take seriously concentrated effort until it became a healthy habit. The ability to take one's personal inventory is a major power tool in living well. And, like the habit of JOY, has to be exercised & will expand/grow over one's life. How awesome it is!

Working for a few years on a major home remodel reveals all kinds of one's abilities & weaknesses, while requiring daily, sometimes hourly, inventory taking. Now that we are living with the job about 98% finished I breath a sigh of satisfaction every step through our home. I learned fairly quickly how different my left hand, arm, side works. I had to be in a state of dual listening to my Helper (the Holy Spirit) & my left brain (my onboard computer library) to patiently fine-tune how to tackle the various tasks that were mine: house-cabinet-layout design; project managing (including researching, locating, & buying materials) the painting in the interior & exterior.

Today, enjoying every aspect of what we have accomplished here, I am able to start writing out what I have learned in these past few years. Though I was willing to live quietly in the background my voice has found it's new place. A new adventure is rising, actually began some months ago as I was moved into more action, activity in our community. We are doing ministry again: prayer healing; mentoring; teaching. Getting reaquainted with old friends, delving deeper into intimacy with them, a life-giving surprise. 

When I used to play pool regularly, as well as when I was active as a musician, when we all got into a place of syncronized bliss, we said we were, "in the pocket." Additional expressions that define that are: in the groove; humming on all fours; in the zone. It meant everything was in a perfect balance. We knew it wouldn't last, but we enjoyed it, our beings bathed in dopamine: Joy Abounding!

In this season I am experiencing this state more constantly than I thought possible. Borrowing from Chester Kylstra, I am in the Glory Zone.



Living in Transparency

In the end of this year, 2014, I have a fullness of love and appreciation for the kindness of Abba, His marvelous, abundant provisions in the physical, emotional, spiritual areas of my life and in the lives of others. Both in Joy & Pain . . .

Part of God's kindness is demonstrated by a continuous revealing of the "state of being" in which I must live to handle this life. That "state of being" is rich in humility, tender & merciful; quick with forgiveness ~ I have this picture of doing Tai Chi moves with forces coming at me, my hands up, rolling the forces past me in a fluid motion so that the energy goes onto God's altar; while love is continually replenished from the river of love flowing from the Lord: streams of living water flowing through me to others. I am blessed to experience His endless love as it flows through. And, the power happens as the river flows through. If I try to hold onto it, the power goes out.

The power of His love is beyond my ability to comprehend, too strong to contain, ever expanding as it flows through. Much of my learning, in being mentored by God, has been about how to let His power/Love flow through, how to open myself to be a vessel or a conduit. I am experiencing an ever-increasing capacity for Joy the more I yield, surrender, obey on a moment-by-moment basis.

Pain? Recently I experienced pain when someone I love reacted to the way I am with offense, pouring out their complaint. In reading the hurtful words I could see that my transparency could be offensive, especially when my feelings hit upon wounds in those who believe that not feeling is self-protection.

Many people believe we can control our feelings, that we have a choice of just putting them away, ignoring them, that dealing with them is not necessary. Until a person understands & experiences the truth that feelings are, (God made us & we are deeply feeling creatures), and that we can learn the valuable knowledge that, 1) just what emotions are difficult for us, then 2) how to return to joy from these difficult emotions, & 3) get healing for the hurts that happened that continue to invade/interfere with our present lives. And, along with these choices we can open our minds & hearts to the truth that there is a living God who knows everything about us & loves us enough to not let us stay in our pain, but arranges life/circumstances to break our hearts open to the fullness of what is possible in supernatural love & relationship.

When people choose to suspend their disbelief to experience the above, their lives are changed forever. God loves to love, He loves to heal, to complete the works He began in us before time when He wrote our names in the Lamb's Book of Life! Watching His light come into the eyes of people who were formerly dead to the truths of God is one of the greatest moments in my life. And it happens more often the more I let go of having any agenda in life except what Jesus taught, "I do as my Father does." (John 5:30; John 8:28).

In this state-of-being I can experience the hurtful things that happen & roll that pain onto God's altar while I climb up into Abba's lap, hiding behind his long white beard, pressing my broken heart against his chest, my hyper heart slowly synchronizing with His heartbeat, calm, steady & strong; His healing flows into me, mending, opening, increasing His wisdom in me; changing my view so that I feel the hurt with His forgiving heart & see the person through His eyes, whole & complete; His fullness of Joy rises in me as I experience: His Kingdom comes, on earth as it is in heaven. I am resting in His Fullness & that changes the atmosphere 'round about.

Joy To The World, The Lord Is Come!