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    Monday
    Jan182016

    God's DNA ~ Spark

     

    I will always remember that March day, 1982, at the beach in Los Angeles, CA, when I had a supernatural encounter that altered my understanding of a God who knows me! The short story: though I had a full time job I was addicted to alcohol; I was married and having an affair; I had multiple personalities. I was in severe emotional pain, crying out for relief. In the previous months playing at the Bonaventure Hotel (I was a musician/singer) I found myself at the Vineyard Church (at Emerson Junior High), among famous musicians, such as T-Bone Burnett, who led the worship band. God captured me with my passion for music.

    I didn’t remember being baptized as a child so when the Vineyard held a baptism I signed up. On that baptism Sunday, behind schedule, I was running across the vast white sandy beach towards the ocean when I heard a voice say, “Stop.” I kept running and suddenly I felt a hand on my chest, stopping me. There was no one there. I stood there panting, looking around, curious and irritated, like, “What?” I heard a voice inside my head say, “Go back and pick that up.” I looked back and there was about 100 yards of white sand going in all directions. I laughed and sarcastically exclaimed, “Yeah, right! Go back and pick that up.” I heard that voice again, quiet, clear, firm, “Go back and pick that up.”  Feeling afraid, I turned back towards the way I came and trudged through the sand. After twenty or so paces the voice said, “Stop, pick that up.” I looked down, saw nothing but sand, felt humiliated, a kind of dread filling my guts. Gently that voice said, “Pick that up.” In resignation I bent over, put my hand in the sand and grasped at nothing. But, I felt something, lifted my hand, opened it and there it was: a white plastic cowboy, white hat on his head, guns raised in surrender. I was shocked, frozen, breathless, time was suspended. As my brain tried to find order in the chaos that was roaring in my head I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. I started laughing. I knew in those long, charged moments that God was real, that He Knew Me. That is was Him who got me to the Vineyard, connected to specific musicians whom I admired, who spoke about God in deeply personal ways. Only God knew that I thought of myself as an outlaw, but as good guy in my heart, that the cowboy with the white hat is how I saw myself. God knew I felt I had to fight to protect myself. And, only God knew I would understand that He was showing me, by the cowboy holding his guns in surrender, that He wanted me to surrender.

    By revelation God transformed my feelings of toxic shame into wonder and amazement. A sense of love came over me so deep and wide it swept away every curse, lie, and vow I had heard, or was spoken against me. I felt held in an embrace I had dreamed of, had glimmers when hugged by my grandmother when I was small. And yet, so much more was rushing through my being when I realized I was kneeling in the sand gazing at the small, white plastic cowboy, guns in surrender.

    Looking up I suddenly realized I was on the wrong beach, miles away from where the baptism was taking place. I put the plastic cowboy deep into my pocket while rushing back to my van. My heart, mind, and spirit were buzzing from the spark that was lighting my soul afire with wonder. When I finally was immersed into the freezing cold Pacific Ocean I came up warm. Impossible!

    God’s DNA was waking up! A strange season began, with unknown dimensions of spiritual life and how that affected my day-to-day living. His Great Adventure continued . . . 

     

    Monday
    Jan182016

    God’s DNA ~ The Series

     

    Near the end of 2015 God began speaking to me about His DNA, what the Word/Bible says about it and how my perspective, or understanding has been shaped, by Him.

    As I was taking my year-end inventory with the Lord I felt Him impress me it was time to begin writing out what He was showing me. I thank James Goll, God’s Man, for inspiring me to obey Abba when he spoke about God’s DNA at the 2015 RTF Advance in North Carolina. On to this adventure . . .

     

    Monday
    Dec282015

    2015 Summation

    It is a still & quiet, a little after noon on December 27th. Gray skies spritzing snow off & on for a couple hours, melting as it falls. It will be fun doing greeting at church this evening, especially if the snow begins to stick. Yup, I love Christmas & winter especially with snow. Reminds me of my childhood in Montana. Though, I have grown to love the gray, wet, crispness of the NW, which gives way to gorgeous spring.

    The fullness of God’s maturing process in me this year was realized when I was finally diagnosed as Celiac [see the “Health & Healing” page]. All my life I’ve had undiagnosed, or misdiagnosed health issues. Drs. wrote, “Failure to thrive” in my medical records from my birth on. As a toddler I had malnutrition & nearly died from pneumonia. Years of curses from professionals, & friends, that my health/frailty was hypochondria or mental illness. Depression & thoughts of suicide followed me in my fears they might be right.

    Thanks to the overwhelming pain of my early years I was driven to challenge God about who He is, to reveal Himself in a way I could understand. He answered that challenge and . . .

    After years of being mentored, then healed by God, I know: God is who He says He is, The Word is True, He is the Author and Finisher of my faith. I am with Him and there is nothing that will happen He does not allow. Therefore, I am responsible to learn, & practice, the discipline to love & lean into Him, to make more room in me for Him, to put all my concerns on His altar, to place myself totally into His hands, to do with as He wills. In His unfathomable kindness He has revealed how the years of debilitation wrecked my plans, my drive & control, and broke my co-dependency on people, teaching me to be available for His will in prayer & supplication.

    Every person who believes in God/The Trinity will come to their own reckoning regarding the bottom line of their faith. There is no escape, except to try to drown Him out with selfishness, the white noise of fleshly, cultural babble. Been there, done that, wasted a lot of time trying to run away, no longer interested. Thank you, Lord, for intervening and saving my life. In His Amazing Grace He renews my revelation of Who He Is as He continues His John 15 process, “ouch! Yes, Lord, sift & prune, ouch! Yes, more.”

    Deep breathing, then letting go is a habit I learned that releases the tension in my muscles (including my heart), while declaring God’s truths about my identity & relationship as a daughter to Him, The King. His Word is living, engaging me with loving Him, serving family, community; being available for Him as He arranges ministry in countless ways, however small, always significant to Him and those He loves. It is not a concern that I am unfinished, a work in progress, obedience is better than sacrifice, it’s not about me. He can do Anything! And does!

    And, there is this amazing part of my life with Abba: His intercession through me. It has taken years of being with Him for me to understand the power of being submitted in intercession. Today He allows me the extraordinary understanding of some of the visions He assigns for intercession. I call it Prophetic Intercession, as He shows me visions, then allows me to witness portions of the process of their actualizations. I know there are great numbers of intercessors involved in His assignments, He also showed me that vision. Nonetheless, I am honored & astonished to be recruited into His army of intercessors.

    The summation of this year, 2015, is not about numbers of events or works, though as I went through our calendar I was surprised at what was accomplished. It is about God’s Love, His Character, His Living Word and the empowerment therein. His Reign over All that Is and Will Be. IT IS FINISHED. He Won! Every move we make in doing what Our Father Does activates His Word, activates His DNA in Every Person With Whom we come in contact with or pray for. Trust Him. He knows what He is doing. He is the great I AM.