Since I wrote, Closing 2011, I have been cloistered for a season with Abba.
To recap: In July, 2011, I fell & broke both bones in my left arm at the wrist. The damage was severe, spreading up through my shoulder to my spine. God arranged for the surgeon who did a fine job putting my left arm/wrist back together, utilizing titanium plates. A few weeks later I started intensive physical therapy, where I was given a book of exercises, which I did for 10 to 12 hours daily through to the fall of 2012.
While lying on the floor, first realizing the severity of my injuries, the Lord told me my miracle would be in my healing. Today I am blessed to say that I have over 95% return of movement & use of my hand, arm, and shoulder, which is far better than what the doctors thought would happen. God tells the truth.
In June of 2012, one of my first travels was to attend the Heart & Soul Conference, in Los Angeles, CA., which was an answer to prayer for the Lord to restore my soul. The conference refreshed my spirit with much needed connections with many kindred spirits, friends of the Lord who have spent decades living in, and teaching about, intimacy with Jesus.
Then I returned home, back to physical therapy and learning to live with my husband full-time who had recently retired from a career that took him to sea at least 70 days at-a-time. Though refreshed and encouraged, doubts tugged at me. I went back into the darkness with the Lord, wondering, asking Abba questions, wanting more.
A few weeks ago I began reading, starting with one of my favorite daily readings, My Utmost For His Highest, by Oswald Chambers. From mid January through the start of February the readings energized me. I found specific answers to why, what, when, where, how of the previous difficult season. The reading . . .
The Discipline Of Heeding (2/14) ~ What I tell you in darkness, that speak ye in light: and what ye hear in the ear, that preach ye upon the housetops. — Matthew 10:27
"At times God puts us through the discipline of darkness to teach us to heed Him. Song birds are taught to sing in the dark, and we are put into the shadow of God’s hand until we learn to hear Him. "What I tell you in darkness" – watch where God puts you into darkness, and when you are there keep your mouth shut. Are you in the dark just now in your circumstances, or in your life with God? Then remain quiet. If you open your mouth in the dark, you will talk in the wrong mood: darkness is the time to listen. Don’t talk to other people about it; don’t read books to find out the reason of the darkness, but listen and heed. If you talk to other people, you cannot hear what God is saying. When you are in the dark, listen, and God will give you a very precious message for someone else when you get into the light.
After every time of darkness there comes a mixture of delight and humiliation (if there is delight only, I question whether we have heard God at all), delight in hearing God speak, but chiefly humiliation – What a long time I was in hearing that! How slow I have been in understanding that! And yet God has been saying it all these days and weeks. Now He gives you the gift of humiliation, which brings the softness of heart that will always listen to God now."
Peace embraced me as I realized that’s where I’d been, cloistered with the Lord, quieted, in the “darkness” in healing, restoration. My long, challenging season was ending. Was I willing to move ahead?
Over the holidays and into the New Year the Lord arranged for me to bring “very precious message(s)” to many people. They were simple moments when needs that only God could have known about, were met with such depth every person commented on the power of what was shared with them. Each time I was amazed at the tender mercies that flowed with no effort. The peace that settled over every situation was truly only what God could do.
The trauma of the previous 1 ½ years melted away in experiencing the power of the Lord move freely through me to bless everyone around me. While being profoundly weak, wretchedly human, Love, Wisdom, & Godly authority poured forth. I have often been speechless with wonder over recent events.
Am I willing to move ahead? Yes, indeed!