Lately I have been experiencing the empowerment that comes from the skills in taking an effective personal inventory. There is: Satisfaction in effectively Observing my life, seeing what isn't working, then Being Willing to think creatively of options for improvement, then doing them; Respect and Kindness towards myself and others while being Honest and Transparent in finding failures.
The Skills: Satisfaction, Observant, Being Willing, Respect, Kindness, Honesty, Transparency.
Here's the kicker . . . if you don't take effective Personal Inventories on a regular basis you will spend a lot of time on things that don't work, which leads to anger, frustration, dissatisfaction, frustration, which can lead to inertia and depression.
All people with effective, productive lives take inventories. When you are willing, you will find ways that work for you and it will change your life.
Are You Stuck? I wasted years of my life frozen in fear and anger, feeling bad about myself. Years ago I regularly found myself on the floor in my closet bawling my eyes out, alone and depressed. One day I sat up, and yelled, "I'm done with this!" I challenged myself to get up, get out there, try things that scared me until I found the answers that made me want to live, really live.
A bit of humor: It is possible that those who have become obsessed with zombies struggle with feeling lost and dysfunctional, which is zombie like: You feel dead, but just don't die.
Seriously . . . As soon as I tried to make changes I heard voices in my head that were critical, humiliating and mean, such as, "Why try, you are a failure, You'll never measure up, You're stupid."
I had to make up what I wanted to hear and repeat it in my mind, silently yelling down the mean voices. I started with, "I have courage to start over. It is an adventure to find what has been holding me back. I can get better at anything if I am willing to try," and, "it's OK if I don't know how, I can learn." "It's OK to be scared, I am going to do it anyway."
A Gift: Right at a critical moment in time I heard that it had been scientifically proven that fear and excitement are virtually the same emotion. That statement electrified my consciousness, inspiring my understanding that it was OK that I felt scared, perhaps it was really excitement. I decided to look at my fear as excitement and try anyway.
I decided to meet with people that were committed to helping me, including counselors, recovery groups, church. Then I went back to college. I had to learn that satisfaction basically means contentment and it only lasts a day. And, the choice to learn to feel satisfied is my responsibility.
I began to ask questions like, "What if I make this choice instead? Then I tried that choice at the next opportunity and found the circumstances didn't scare me nearly as much. I discovered what satisfaction felt like as I tried things and was still alive at the end of the day.
One year into my challenge I realized significant changes had taken place, such as: I wasn't angry or depressed all the time, in fact I often found humor in even difficult circumstances; Sarcasm and cynicism were morphing to encouragement and appreciation; The more I respected and gave grace to myself, the more I extended it to the people around me. All a cogent reminder that You Are What You Do. I had overcome what I thought by doing something different.
Because I had so much to relearn (my childhood didn't provide the necessary life-skills that healthy, loving families provide), it took me a few years to become proficient at taking my daily personal inventory, but I did learn and it did change my life
[Related: previous posts on "Whose Responsibility Is It." and "Big Feelings & Emotional Capacity."]